Learning to Love Me

So Excited to PBM this week!

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But really I have wanted to PBM since Hollie started it but with school keeping me beyond busy I just couldn’t. And then when I could I avoided it. Why? Because loving yourself is hard to do. But this is just what I need to do. I need to love myself not just every Thursday, but every week. I am the type to focus on the negatives too much and discount the positives as if they are supposed to happen. And my positives and my expectations of myself are typically way too high. Ask me what doing well on an exam means and I used to say getting an A. But for anyone else I honestly believed a B on a college exam is fantastic… Just not for me. Then I started getting 100s on literally all of my regular exams. This isn’t bragging it is stating a fact. But then when I don’t get a 100 what will I do? Will I be OK with myself? The answer should be yes. Will I still celebrate? Again the answer should be heck yes. So beginning today I am going to celebrate myself: Mind and Body because I want to see myself as awesome. I want to love myself.

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Physically: O my lanta I have felt lovely this week. I feel like I can just go go go! Monday and Tuesday I had time to go to the gym and run (yes I am a treadmill runner, sorry, but I am a little intimidated by running outside). And then even after sitting in my car for a good 6 hours I didn’t feel like a couch potato today. My body is healthy and happy to move be it walking, running, cleaning, or jamming to this tune in the car.

Anyone else love the movie Bridesmaids???

Mentally: I feel weird. I just finished up my fall semester. For the past 3-4 months I have had classes to attend, books to read (because I actually read the textbooks I pay for), exams to study for, and a TON of flashcards to make. Now I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel guilty sitting down at my computer doing nothing but browsing for recipe ideas, reading blogs, tweeting, ect. because I feel like I am wasting my time. So naturally I am going to go out tomorrow and purchase the GRE book and start studying. I am also going to begin reading up on the research my professor suggested I read before January. Don’t worry I will take time to relax. I broke out a trashy romance novel Monday night and I love it! There will definitely (does anyone else spell that wrong every time???) be hours that will be devoted to a fantasy of what life would be like if love really happened like it does in historical romance. But reading research about metabolic regulation and hypotheses about the causes of insulin resistance and lack of fatty acid oxidation in obese individual’s skeletal muscle despite plenty of substrate is so fun for me. I told you before I am a metabolic nerd.

Brag: I have found what I love and have no doubts about it. I was a dancer for a loooong time and thought it was my passion and then was lost when I realized that maybe it wasn’t for me. How could I think I loved something for so long and then suddenly out of the blue start to hate it? Because it wasn’t the path for me. Who cares if you are good at something if you don’t love it? But nutrition and metabolic regulation? OMG I love it! I could go on and on for days about glycolysis and beta-oxidation in fed versus fasted states and in insulin resistance. It’s awesome, I love it, and I want it to be my whole life. Hello career goal.