It’s Craazzzyy Breakdown Kind of Stuff

Crazy things tend to happen to a college student during exam weeks…

Add in it happened to be Halloween week, and well the superstitious might start jumping to conclusions.

Y’all I am coming off one of the more stressful weeks of my academic career– Abnormal Psychology Exam, Metabolic quiz, Science of Food Exam, ServSafe Exam, and a Metabolic Exam all in the course of a week… And although I took off work in advance because I knew this week would be hell (there is just no good way of putting it), my work didn’t follow through and some poor students were expecting a tutor that didn’t/couldn’t show- because I was off!!! I am also really terrible at communication and by Wednesday I had a lot of emotion and stress built up, but I was playing it cool hoping that someone would just read my mind and know I needed support…

I have a big problem with thinking people will just know what I need… It happened with my eating disorder a lot. I expected my parents to read my mind and know I was uncomfortable, or know that I really wanted dessert but was too afraid to say something because I thought I would be judged on my choice. But I do realize deep deep down that this is so distorted and I cannot expect my mom or my dad or my best friends to just know that something is wrong. And if I would just express my emotions as I feel them it would probably save me a lot of tears and snuffles.

But that didn’t happen this week. By Wednesday I was stressed beyond belief as I made a mistake on a metabolic quiz (which just doesn’t happen to me– but I also need to learn that it’s OK that it did) and was unable to focus on some of the pretty amazing stuff going on in my life like beginning to plan this year’s Eating Disorder Awareness Walk (which is going to be awesome!). And instead I was exhibiting quite a few cognitive distortions, such as all or nothing thinking, and selective abstraction (told you I had a Psych exam!). By Wednesday I had convinced myself that no one could help me and that my mom was mad at me… When will I learn?

But mom came to the rescue (like she always amazingly does) and calmed me down. We developed more communication that makes more sense for us, and I realized how much I need her during times of stress. I cannot shut myself away with my flashcards and notes and make excuses like I don’t have time. I do have time or should make time to call my mom, do something fun, and give myself a destress moment. and this time should not just be my meal time… Which has been occurring lately.

So on that note, I went through stress and came out stronger (am I surprised?). My relationship grew even more with my mom (which I didn’t think was possible) and I realize there are quite a few things I need to work on. But I am going to tackle them one at a time. So give me a week of time to think through all of this and then I am going to post ONE goal I have for myself to work on. And I want to stick to it. This ain’t no New Year’s Resolution.

OK but time for a little less seriousness… If you know me, my recovery became solid when I realized I could use my relationship with food as a way to to see what is going on in my life. Well I did that this week. I was all over the place, eating way too many vegetables with way too big of portion sizes that of course only led to my sensitive stomach becoming bloated and my head becoming uncomfortable with thoughts. But some good things did come out of my crazy psych, servsafe, science of food, metabolic mind. CREATIONS!

Baked Pumpkin with Banana, Almond Butter, Flax with a Sweet Egg Banana and Almond Butter Flax Omelet + Cinnamon Laughing Cow Cream Cheese…

Savory turned Sweet!

My sweet tooth was totally satisfied and sweet omelets may or may not be my new thing. Seriously my roomie has a sweet egg a lot but I normally just enjoy the smell and not the taste. This night I ventured to her side of the stove and whisked up my egg and egg whites with some pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon, sliced some banana to fill the omelet and topped it with pumpkin seeds and more bananas and cinnamon, and there is some ground flax and laughing cow cinnamon cream cheese (SO GOOD!) in there for good measure. O and that cauliflower floret? I don’t know I told you my mind was a little loopy.

When You Run Out of All Nut Butter During Exams

And You Want Your Favorite Yogurt + Frozen Banana + PB + Flax Breakfast

You just have to improvise and sub the bowl for an empty PB jar and have what may be the best breakfast ever to get you ready for a morning of being a metabolic know it all in review and conquering a Science of Food exam

So last week was up, down, sideways full of smiles and tears. But I gained so much more than the knowledge I was tested on. Life lessons people. I was tested in more than just academics, I was tested in life and maybe I didn’t get an A… but I did get through it and am going to be so much better for it. I have a break before a week like this hits again. Time to study up and maybe do it better the next time!