I am ready

I was extremely blessed this week beginning on Sunday with a sermon that led to yesterday’s post and now a great talk with an old dance teacher that has become one of my truest friends. We spoke about a number of our struggles and how we can tackle them in our future. How appropriate since 2013 is upon us. After everything we spoke about the thing we both came back to is this:

When you are ready…

It is a great thing to talk and know what I need to do to find freEDom and recovery for good but I will always be in the same place unless I do something. Unless I change things I will be the same as I was yesterday. That isn’t a bad thing, I am healthy and happy the majority of the time. But I am not free yet. I know of some things that I can do to help me become free but I cannot do that until I am ready. I am ready. I am not scared of what I have to do. I am nervous and I am scared of the uncertainty that comes with every new thing. But I am ready. I am ready. I am ready.

Strength in Freedom

My goals for 2013

  1. Work on freeing myself from my fear food. I have alluded to this in many posts but never revealed what it is I fear. I fear grains. It stems from years ago and is a story in itself. But I know that grains are healthy and needed in the diet. So to begin conquering this fear I will be reintroducing grains into my diet a little at a time. As with anything you have to start small and work your way to the top. How appropriate for the name of my blog. I will be plating those grains, enjoying them (hopefully- if not I will be trying a new grain that I do enjoy) and then climbing on to the next thing.
  2. Put myself out there to meet people. I pretty much live in the school and study environment. And I study in my house. There is not much opportunity to meet people there. So 3 times a week/3 hours a week I will be finding a place that I enjoy studying. It might be a Starbucks, Panera, library, Student Union… Whatever I just have to enjoy being there. And then once a month I will do something recreational. This could be going downtown to meet people/hang out with friends or going bowling at our student center. I just want to put myself out there to meet people and this is where I am going to start.
  3. Try new things. I am currently working on a list of things I have always wanted to try but have been too afraid/self-conscious in the past. To give you an idea it includes running (short distances and no races just for fun and for feeling my body better), yoga (especially Hot Yoga), Pilates, Horseback Riding…
  4. Do something nice once a day. Wake up and be thankful and love others. Stop judging others. I want to find something nice that I can always do that helps someone else out. I want to write down what I am thankful for. I will show compassion. And when I make a judgement I will work on checking myself. Everyone is different and they should be loved for that individuality.

None of these will happen with the blink of an eye. But I hope to look back a year from now and see that I have made progress in each of these so that I can add to them and keep working to grow as a person. And back to Sunday…

NOTHING IS POSSIBLE WITHOUT GOD.