God has a plan for my life, and I have no clue what it is. I am a planner extraordinaire, but there is one thing I cannot plan and it is my life layout. Not that I haven’t tried. In high school I had this dream of what my life would be like: I would go to college and get a degree so that I could teach, I would meet the love of my life early in my undergraduate career, he would be either in the military or working to become a doctor, we would get married, I would start teaching, we would have our first child (which I even decided would be a boy), and well you know how the story goes… We would live happily ever after.
Too bad that hasn’t happened. My life plan got messed up pretty quickly. I changed my major and career goals within the first year at VT and I have yet to meet Mr. Right. Actually I have yet to meet Mr. Anyone… How do I feel about all of this? Extremely frustrated. Like I said I like plans, and I like to know about those plans in detail. I do not enjoy the go with the flow kind of mindset.
I was explaining my frustrations to my mom’s friend when we went out to dinner last night, and she told me the same type of thing others have told me time and time again. Just let it happen. This is so hard for me. I see my friends with boyfriends, or the ones moving on to their careers and futures and I just can’t help but wonder where is my life going? When am I going to meet the person I will spend the rest of my life with? What am I going to be doing 5 years from now, does it even come close to looking like the plan in my head?
But my mom’s friend was right and so is every person that has told me to be patient and see where life takes me. So I am going to try a new approach to my planning mindset. I won’t stop planning (I am pretty good at it and it helps me in my every day musings), but I will stop trying to see the future. I can plan my life one day at a time (or maybe a week at a time), but I cannot play God in my life. Who knows where I will be in 5 years, actually who knows where I will be in one year (still in school mom don’t worry, lol, I mean more mentally!). Only God knows what is in store for me. I hope I accomplish many things in this life of mine. I hope I have a husband and children I can love one day. And I hope life continues to gift me with good fortune.
But what I hope more than anything is to look back many years from now and laugh at how much I tried to plan a life I could have never predicted for myself. I hope I can tell my children how I would have never imagined I would have met their father how I did. And as for my career, I hope that whatever I end up doing makes me excited to go to work every day. Basically…