I am ready

I was extremely blessed this week beginning on Sunday with a sermon that led to yesterday’s post and now a great talk with an old dance teacher that has become one of my truest friends. We spoke about a number of our struggles and how we can tackle them in our future. How appropriate since 2013 is upon us. After everything we spoke about the thing we both came back to is this:

When you are ready…

It is a great thing to talk and know what I need to do to find freEDom and recovery for good but I will always be in the same place unless I do something. Unless I change things I will be the same as I was yesterday. That isn’t a bad thing, I am healthy and happy the majority of the time. But I am not free yet. I know of some things that I can do to help me become free but I cannot do that until I am ready. I am ready. I am not scared of what I have to do. I am nervous and I am scared of the uncertainty that comes with every new thing. But I am ready. I am ready. I am ready.

Strength in Freedom

My goals for 2013

  1. Work on freeing myself from my fear food. I have alluded to this in many posts but never revealed what it is I fear. I fear grains. It stems from years ago and is a story in itself. But I know that grains are healthy and needed in the diet. So to begin conquering this fear I will be reintroducing grains into my diet a little at a time. As with anything you have to start small and work your way to the top. How appropriate for the name of my blog. I will be plating those grains, enjoying them (hopefully- if not I will be trying a new grain that I do enjoy) and then climbing on to the next thing.
  2. Put myself out there to meet people. I pretty much live in the school and study environment. And I study in my house. There is not much opportunity to meet people there. So 3 times a week/3 hours a week I will be finding a place that I enjoy studying. It might be a Starbucks, Panera, library, Student Union… Whatever I just have to enjoy being there. And then once a month I will do something recreational. This could be going downtown to meet people/hang out with friends or going bowling at our student center. I just want to put myself out there to meet people and this is where I am going to start.
  3. Try new things. I am currently working on a list of things I have always wanted to try but have been too afraid/self-conscious in the past. To give you an idea it includes running (short distances and no races just for fun and for feeling my body better), yoga (especially Hot Yoga), Pilates, Horseback Riding…
  4. Do something nice once a day. Wake up and be thankful and love others. Stop judging others. I want to find something nice that I can always do that helps someone else out. I want to write down what I am thankful for. I will show compassion. And when I make a judgement I will work on checking myself. Everyone is different and they should be loved for that individuality.

None of these will happen with the blink of an eye. But I hope to look back a year from now and see that I have made progress in each of these so that I can add to them and keep working to grow as a person. And back to Sunday…

NOTHING IS POSSIBLE WITHOUT GOD.

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18 thoughts on “I am ready

  1. These are some great goals!! I can’t wait to hear about your climb! Your head and your heart are in the right place, and you are strong. Looking forward to watching the beauty in you blossom in next year xoxo

    • Thanks girl! I am deff working on that fear. That is the reason it is number one. I don’t want to fear any food. Because I really do believe that everything in moderation is the way to go!

  2. I think 2013 is going to be amazing for you, hun. I really do. I think you’re ready to kick this thing once and for all, one step at a time, and you have set yourself well on the path to doing so with this wonderful list of goals πŸ™‚ Here to help in any way I can! Love you, hun!! Happy New Year ❀

  3. I really like all your goals. They are not stiff and hard and setting yourself up for failure you know what I mean? Being diabetic, I have a love/hate relationship with grains. Often times they make my blood sugars a bit out of sync but I don’t hate them. I don’t know.

    Anyways love the new layout by the way and see you tomorrow!

    • Yes grains are many people’s struggle because they are focused on so much and for diabetics they are definitely difficult! I am soooo looking forward to tomorrow it is going to be a blast!

  4. These are great goals! Very doable and straightforward but challenging enough to have you work towards something every day. I love that you’re pushing yourself out of those comfort zones and crossing lines you weren’t able to cross before. You should definitely try to venture out and be more social! After being anti-social most of this past year, I found that going out with friends has done wonders for my mood and mental state. Take advantage of the social aspect of college before it’s too late! Gosh college was so much fun I miss it 😦 My one piece of advice is this: whenever you think of something you want to do one day, write it down immediately on paper or into your phone! I have an extensive “bucket list” going in my iPhone and love adding new items to it.

    Happy New Year and I can’t wait to see where 2013 takes you!

  5. GAHHH how much do I love this list! I want to borrow all of them. Grains are tricky – and I think, if you find that you’re intolerant to some of them (sadly some people just physically feel better without them in the diet), then don’t pressure yourself. I too have a lot of fear foods but it’s kind of sad – all of them have either gluten or dairy and so now that I’m ready to try them….I can’t. grr. But anyway, I especially love your goal to put yourself out there more – I really REALLY need to work on this too! I’m so shy at work, and, like you, I’m soo busy that I often find myself with no time to go out and do things to meet people. This is something I really want to do though so I’ll have to find a way! I think for you it’s going to be a year of just…NEW things! new food, new people, new activities – that can only lead to growth. the scariness of it only makes it more worth it πŸ™‚ I can’t wait to hear about how you gradually implement all these!

    • Thanks Kate! I think that as long as you are willing to try those foods even though you can’t it is progress. There are things I was afraid of but can’t eat too now I am willing to but I really cannot without getting sick. its a sticky situation. I really hope this year brings new people and experiences into both of our lives!

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