Learning to Love Me

So Excited to PBM this week!

pbm

But really I have wanted to PBM since Hollie started it but with school keeping me beyond busy I just couldn’t. And then when I could I avoided it. Why? Because loving yourself is hard to do. But this is just what I need to do. I need to love myself not just every Thursday, but every week. I am the type to focus on the negatives too much and discount the positives as if they are supposed to happen. And my positives and my expectations of myself are typically way too high. Ask me what doing well on an exam means and I used to say getting an A. But for anyone else I honestly believed a B on a college exam is fantastic… Just not for me. Then I started getting 100s on literally all of my regular exams. This isn’t bragging it is stating a fact. But then when I don’t get a 100 what will I do? Will I be OK with myself? The answer should be yes. Will I still celebrate? Again the answer should be heck yes. So beginning today I am going to celebrate myself: Mind and Body because I want to see myself as awesome. I want to love myself.

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Physically: O my lanta I have felt lovely this week. I feel like I can just go go go! Monday and Tuesday I had time to go to the gym and run (yes I am a treadmill runner, sorry, but I am a little intimidated by running outside). And then even after sitting in my car for a good 6 hours I didn’t feel like a couch potato today. My body is healthy and happy to move be it walking, running, cleaning, or jamming to this tune in the car.

Anyone else love the movie Bridesmaids???

Mentally: I feel weird. I just finished up my fall semester. For the past 3-4 months I have had classes to attend, books to read (because I actually read the textbooks I pay for), exams to study for, and a TON of flashcards to make. Now I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel guilty sitting down at my computer doing nothing but browsing for recipe ideas, reading blogs, tweeting, ect. because I feel like I am wasting my time. So naturally I am going to go out tomorrow and purchase the GRE book and start studying. I am also going to begin reading up on the research my professor suggested I read before January. Don’t worry I will take time to relax. I broke out a trashy romance novel Monday night and I love it! There will definitely (does anyone else spell that wrong every time???) be hours that will be devoted to a fantasy of what life would be like if love really happened like it does in historical romance. But reading research about metabolic regulation and hypotheses about the causes of insulin resistance and lack of fatty acid oxidation in obese individual’s skeletal muscle despite plenty of substrate is so fun for me. I told you before I am a metabolic nerd.

Brag:Ā I have found what I love and have no doubts about it. I was a dancer for a loooong time and thought it was my passion and then was lost when I realized that maybe it wasn’t for me. How could I think I loved something for so long and then suddenly out of the blue start to hate it? Because it wasn’t the path for me. Who cares if you are good at something if you don’t love it? But nutrition and metabolic regulation? OMG I love it! I could go on and on for days about glycolysis and beta-oxidation in fed versus fasted states and in insulin resistance. It’s awesome, I love it, and I want it to be my whole life. Hello career goal.

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14 thoughts on “Learning to Love Me

  1. I absolutely love this post. If you ever want a treadmill date, I would love too (I’m a member of the YMCA’s around these parts…hopefully that is the treadmill you use!) Anywho-this post is seriously awesome and I’m so happy for you. I hope this break is exactly what you wanted and needed! šŸ™‚ PS: That photo of you is absolutely stunning. PPS: If I were you I would brag about how gorgeous and perfect my bangs were LOL.

  2. Love all of this! But girl, you gotta relax šŸ™‚ I absolutely am not planning on doing any studying at all this break. It’s so hard to get out of that feeling that you have to, but you’ll be so much happier when you do. And you won’t risk burning out during the real semester (actually, I usually still do lol) but anyways, live up every moment while you’re on vacation. You’re awesome šŸ™‚

    • haha don’t worry I am relaxing. But in all seriousness I don’t get burnt out easily and like to stay occupied. Plus I really enjoy reading about enzymes and regulation. Of course on break I alternate with my romance novels!

  3. So proud of you for this love!!! You do need to love yourself every day…we all do (and i was the same way regarding tests…anything less than a 95 and i flipped on myself…not worth it by a long shot)…all of your brags are awesome, especially discovering what YOU are passionate about šŸ™‚

  4. Way to go girl! Like you, I tend to always be go-go-go and never truly relax, or that is until I made it a goal of mine to learn how to truly relax… It sounds crazy but I’d much rather be doing 10 different things than nothing at all. I am slowly learning that sometimes relaxing is exactly what I need, mentally and physically.

  5. LOVE that you’ve found the path for you with your studies. I went through kind of the same thing with dance, and then found running, and now I’m faced with the possibility that I may never run again and I honestly don’t know what to do with that. It’s HUGE to find “something else”, come to love it, and not feel sad or guilty or whatever about that thing you used to do. I also identify with being “way too busy” all the time, I’m always go-go-go and I do honestly like it that way – so I’m proud of you for keeping a balance between fun and work – hard to do when we love what we’re learning right? Relaxing’s important though, I get much less burnt out when I take some me-time-just one night a week of watching Gossip Girl and painting my nails does the trick! šŸ˜€

    • Kate I am thinking and praying for you and running. I know you love it and I know how much you want it in your life. You are right if you love keeping busy its great but breaks are needed! love that you pamper yourself one night a week. That is a goal of mine for the next semester. As you remember sometimes taking a night off is not an option but an hour certainly can and should be arranged!

  6. I can relate to your feelings on school very much – I remember when I first made the transition from high school (which was really easy) to college (engineering = HARD) I was so hard on myself every time I didn’t get the grade I was used to seeing. Setting high expectations for ourselves can lead to devastating consequences and I’m glad to see you slowly easing up on yourself! I found that forgiving myself and quickly moving on (especially after getting a grade that didn’t live up to my expectations) made life so much easier!

    Happy to see you back to blogging šŸ™‚

    • Happy to be back blogging and receiving your thoughtful comments! I am hoping this next semester will be a good learning experience for me I need to learn to not expect perfection in everything I attempt.

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