It’s Craazzzyy Breakdown Kind of Stuff

Crazy things tend to happen to a college student during exam weeks…

Add in it happened to be Halloween week, and well the superstitious might start jumping to conclusions.

Y’all I am coming off one of the more stressful weeks of my academic career– Abnormal Psychology Exam, Metabolic quiz, Science of Food Exam, ServSafe Exam, and a Metabolic Exam all in the course of a week… And although I took off work in advance because I knew this week would be hell (there is just no good way of putting it), my work didn’t follow through and some poor students were expecting a tutor that didn’t/couldn’t show- because I was off!!! I am also really terrible at communication and by Wednesday I had a lot of emotion and stress built up, but I was playing it cool hoping that someone would just read my mind and know I needed support…

I have a big problem with thinking people will just know what I need… It happened with my eating disorder a lot. I expected my parents to read my mind and know I was uncomfortable, or know that I really wanted dessert but was too afraid to say something because I thought I would be judged on my choice. But I do realize deep deep down that this is so distorted and I cannot expect my mom or my dad or my best friends to just know that something is wrong. And if I would just express my emotions as I feel them it would probably save me a lot of tears and snuffles.

But that didn’t happen this week. By Wednesday I was stressed beyond belief as I made a mistake on a metabolic quiz (which just doesn’t happen to me– but I also need to learn that it’s OK that it did) and was unable to focus on some of the pretty amazing stuff going on in my life like beginning to plan this year’s Eating Disorder Awareness Walk (which is going to be awesome!). And instead I was exhibiting quite a few cognitive distortions, such as all or nothing thinking, and selective abstraction (told you I had a Psych exam!). By Wednesday I had convinced myself that no one could help me and that my mom was mad at me… When will I learn?

But mom came to the rescue (like she always amazingly does) and calmed me down. We developed more communication that makes more sense for us, and I realized how much I need her during times of stress. I cannot shut myself away with my flashcards and notes and make excuses like I don’t have time. I do have time or should make time to call my mom, do something fun, and give myself a destress moment. and this time should not just be my meal time… Which has been occurring lately.

So on that note, I went through stress and came out stronger (am I surprised?). My relationship grew even more with my mom (which I didn’t think was possible) and I realize there are quite a few things I need to work on. But I am going to tackle them one at a time. So give me a week of time to think through all of this and then I am going to post ONE goal I have for myself to work on. And I want to stick to it. This ain’t no New Year’s Resolution.

OK but time for a little less seriousness… If you know me, my recovery became solid when I realized I could use my relationship with food as a way to to see what is going on in my life. Well I did that this week. I was all over the place, eating way too many vegetables with way too big of portion sizes that of course only led to my sensitive stomach becoming bloated and my head becoming uncomfortable with thoughts. But some good things did come out of my crazy psych, servsafe, science of food, metabolic mind. CREATIONS!

Baked Pumpkin with Banana, Almond Butter, Flax with a Sweet Egg Banana and Almond Butter Flax Omelet + Cinnamon Laughing Cow Cream Cheese…

Savory turned Sweet!

My sweet tooth was totally satisfied and sweet omelets may or may not be my new thing. Seriously my roomie has a sweet egg a lot but I normally just enjoy the smell and not the taste. This night I ventured to her side of the stove and whisked up my egg and egg whites with some pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon, sliced some banana to fill the omelet and topped it with pumpkin seeds and more bananas and cinnamon, and there is some ground flax and laughing cow cinnamon cream cheese (SO GOOD!) in there for good measure. O and that cauliflower floret? I don’t know I told you my mind was a little loopy.

When You Run Out of All Nut Butter During Exams

And You Want Your Favorite Yogurt + Frozen Banana + PB + Flax Breakfast

You just have to improvise and sub the bowl for an empty PB jar and have what may be the best breakfast ever to get you ready for a morning of being a metabolic know it all in review and conquering a Science of Food exam

So last week was up, down, sideways full of smiles and tears. But I gained so much more than the knowledge I was tested on. Life lessons people. I was tested in more than just academics, I was tested in life and maybe I didn’t get an A… but I did get through it and am going to be so much better for it. I have a break before a week like this hits again. Time to study up and maybe do it better the next time!

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11 thoughts on “It’s Craazzzyy Breakdown Kind of Stuff

  1. Awe, I am sorry it was such a stressful week for you but I can totally relate with parents knowing what you want. I have a bad habit of thinking people knowing exactly what I am thinking as well. Like if I’m angry at them or something along those lines. I’m really excited to see you soon and break will be such a good stress reliever seriously!

    • It was a stressy week, but it looks like it is all paying off as my grades are coming back. Hard work is always worth it in the end (for the most part). I cannot wait to meet you, and I promise to be care free, full of Turkey, and all hyped up from Black Friday shopping from the day before

  2. uck stressful week for sure. i think you have a lot more knowledge and wisdom than you give yourself credit for, don’t let your ed tell you any other way. i am glad you realize that people can’t read your mind and asking for help is not defeat but actually the best self love you can show

  3. It might have been one heck of a stressful week for you but it sure as heck paid off because you DOMINATED abnormal and I am just SO PROUD of you twin 🙂 But I agree that you just need to mention your stressy moments so I can help you out because thats what I am here for ❤

    PS – glad you enjoy the sweet egg smell since I make them so often 😉

  4. OOF stress. But, knowing you, I bet you just KILLED all your exams – that’s what you do! I find that taking that time to de-stress is actually WAY more important when it comes to studying – if I get too worked up, I don’t learn anything. That’s why I always ran my highest mileage during exam weeks, and people didn’t understand why I ran at all – because starting my day with that sort of flushed away all my stress and allowed me to just sit down and calmly plow through my work. and food breaks are essential! I always liked to go to the dinigh hall with friends to break up the studies. But you your pb jar creation looks EPIC – I will have to try that sometime (with a tummy-friendly nut butter of course lol)

    • Thanks girl! By the way it is nice to have you back 😀 I love my workouts but I love my studies more. That is where I get my endorphins! My study walks around local Blacksburg can’t be beat! I hope you find a tummy friendly nut butter, how was the cashew butter?

  5. Ugh sorry to hear about these stressful few days :/ We all have a tendency to be a bit too tough on ourselves so I’m sure all your tests went very well! One of the best things I learned in school is to never over-study (brain = mush). Another important lesson: people are there for you when you need them! Don’t be afraid to turn to friends and parents. I was never vocal about anything and yes they weren’t mind readers to figure out when something was wrong.

    It was a tough week but now you can sit back and enjoy the upcoming weekend because you deserve it!

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