Now that doesn’t sound very good does it? Let’s define failure the dictionary way first…
1 lack of success: an economic policy that is doomed to failure | the failures of his policies.
• an unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing: bad weather had resulted in crop failures.
2 the omission of expected or required action: their failure to comply with the basic rules.
• a lack or deficiency of a desirable quality: a failure of imagination.
3 the action or state of not functioning: symptoms of heart failure | an engine failure.
• a sudden cessation of power.
• the collapse of a business.
WOW failure has a lot of definitions, and that is not counting all of the quotable definitions I found on Pinterest while researching for this post.
Failure was brought up in my Bible Study last week. And my response to think of a time when you failed at something was, but I haven’t experienced failure yet… yes I was that girl. Perfectionist, all has gone as planned, has it together 24/7 (Really I don’t just ask a close friend or my mom and dad, they will tell you) But honestly as I sat there I could not think of a thing that made me feel like I completely failed. That is not to say that I have been 100% successful at everything I do, but I have been pretty fortunate. Yeah there have been parts in dance I really wanted. There was that 40 on a math quiz in 6th grade I will never forget. Being wait-listed at few pretty awesome schools. But there is no down right FAIL I can think of.
I have a few thoughts on this:
- It isn’t that I haven’t failed, but I have always had a back-up plan that I am perfectly happy to take, so when what I want doesn’t happen, or I totally bomb an exam I have a plan of action. Take better notes in class, change my studying habits, try out for the other good part I like, pick an awesome school that does want me.
- Maybe always having a back up plan has made me miss an important aspect of life??? I mean everyone has failures. Sometimes failures shape us and make us better in the long run. What if I missed my chance to be better by not completely accepting failure?
- Maybe my time for failure hasn’t happened yet? OMG what if it is going to be when I apply for internships this summer, or senior year when I am waiting to see if I get matched to a DI Internship. I mean I am doing everything I can to make me competitive but when it all comes down to it I lack a lot of control in those situations. Or what if I totally pick the wrong career and am unhappy with my life? Or what if I never meet the guy for me (or I met him and let him go?) so I never have a family (which I want more than anything).
After all of that, I think I am thinking too much. There is nothing wrong with having back-ups because so far they sure have led me on the right path in life! Those parts I wanted? I had a great time in the parts I was actually given, and I worked my butt off to keep them because I was more grateful for them. Same goes for when I did get a part I really wanted. Exams I failed? They taught me how to study, and I give myself bragging rights on my studying ability! Being wait-listed was the BEST thing to happen because it made me a HOKIE for life. This place is my second home, and the years I have spent here have meant so much more than a degree. So yes, I have had failures but the reason I couldn’t think of them off the top of my head on that early Monday morning was because I only saw the FINAL final outcome of the failure. The outcome where I took my failure, lived with it, and went on to the next thing. I know some failures are easier to get over than others, and I probably haven’t had my biggest failure in life yet. That’s OK! I am only 21 😀