Stepping Out of the Boat

Step out of the boat and into the water. The sermon at my church today was about walking on water. And facing fear and failure.

For those that do not know the story, Jesus walked on water to reach his disciples in the middle of rough water and Peter trusted Jesus to help him walk on water too. He trusted him to help him do the “impossible.” He did falter, but he recovered because Jesus had him. He sank but then came back up stronger.  That was the over all message… but there was more to it.

Having faith, being a Christian does not mean your life will be perfect. When was the last time you asked yourself What did I do to deserve this? or I follow God, I pray, I believe so these things should not happen to me. But the things is, as my pastor pointed out today, no where in the Bible does it say that if you follow God nothing bad will happen to you. It says that God will always be with you, he will never leave you. That means that although you are struggling, God is there. But why would he allow these bad things to happen?

He is building up your faith. 

For the athletes: It is like when you are training and you hit a point of plateau in which you can’t move forward and improve your skill unless you push yourself and make things harder. 

But there is the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown. Even the fear of succeeding. But again God doesn’t promise you won’t fail, he promises to be with you no matter what. So you are going to fail. Not all of the time, but there will be times when things get hard, and you fail. But you have to have faith that you will overcome the failure and keep going.

I have to work on stepping out of my personal “boat,” and into the water.  I have hit a place in my recovery where I am actually already out of one boat and I have made it to another. My weight is regained and has been for 3 years and I have no intention of going back to an unhealthy and unhappy life. And I have learned to enjoy my food, have conquered most all of my fear foods to the extent that I can and will eat a food even if I still remember the fear I had and may still have some fear of it. I know that by taking a bite I push my eating disorder away from my life more and more. BUT pieces of the ED still dominate my life if I am being honest. Now I have heard both tales told: 1- that you always have an ED but learn to live with it by adopting coping mechanisms and 2- that some people recover they are not living in recovery. I am not sure which one exists for me, but I can say for sure that I am not going to settle with what I have reached so far because I have this feeling that I have not pushed my ED far enough. It does not control me anymore, I still think about it every day. And I realize that it is a strong person who can live with an ED thinking, and then having the strength to still do what is sane and healthy and happy. But I want more. I do not want every day to have an ED thought that I push through. I want there to be days that I forget

I used to think these thoughts were just me remembering what the ED had done to my health and my life. Now I am seeing that this remembering is just a way of making an excuse for my thoughts. So I need to step out of my comfort zone and cross to another boat.

Staying safe is no way to live life. Sure I  could stay right where I am. I am at a healthy weight, I know what thoughts are good and what thoughts are bad (I hate the words good and bad by the way because what is bad for me could be good for someone else), and I am very happy with the decisions I have made to put me on the life path I am on. not it is time to confront fears that I could live with.

  • Breaking from my routine and trying something new- I could live with the same old routine, but it would definitely hold me back and stop me from experiencing a lot of potentially life changing things
  • Actually listening to my body instead of what I think is right- Following a clock and again sticking to routine works, but there might be something that is better for me and only my body can tell me that

Just to name two (there are more, and some I haven’t even realized yet I am sure).

I hope this challenges more people to walk on water even though there will be times that you sink. You just have to trust that when you come back up you will be stronger in both body and mind than you were before because

You had faith!


3 thoughts on “Stepping Out of the Boat

  1. ah love this. Everyone’s in a different boat, and no matter what that boat is, we all need to be able to get out and walk over to another one! There is always room for growth and change, but that never comes without stepping out of your comfort zone. Listening to your body is really tough, especially when you’ve been shutting it up via ED – at least that’s what I’ve found. But what they say is true, my body is smarter than I am, so IT should be dictating ME and not the other way around. I’m excited to see you take on these challenges! 🙂

  2. This is beautiful twin 🙂
    I am glad to hear that you are facing these challenges head on instead of just remaining in your comfort zone. This will only help you grow as a person and adapt to other situations that are most certainly awaiting you!! After all, who knows what is out there unless you put yourself out there, no? Safe isn’t a satisfying way to life anyways.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s